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After the breakup: 7 reasons men return to their ex
It couldn't be more painful: Your friend just lets you sit without you knowing what went wrong. Similar to us women there are also various reasons why men want to pull the rip cord and separate from their partner. These can be things like different ideas about life, a lack of love or an affair on your part, but there are also other factors that lead guys to this decision: a moody or jealous girlfriend, bad sex, too many commitments that limit his lifestyle, or even blatant visual changes the girlfriend like a type-changing hairstyle or the increase in body weight. In most cases, however, we don't get to hear the real reason for the breakup, and in the days and weeks after saying goodbye, it's so often in vain to worry about why the relationship broke up. In addition, you don't know what to do with your ex if you meet them unexpectedly, and you doubt your ability to have a sensible partnership. However, no sooner have you overcome the loss and the associated pain of separation and finally found some peace, men seem to keep coming around the cornerto create an almost even greater uncertainty: you want to try again.
For these reasons, men want to go back to their ex
You quickly ask yourself questions like:What could be behind his turn of mind? Why did he change his mind? And: How do you feel about a love comeback? We put out our feelers a little and researched what reasons might lead him to want to return to you - his ex. Whether out of true love, out of jealousy, for distraction, because the pain of separation is too great or he can't find anything better -maybe these things about his behavior can give you some clarity about what makes him really tick and what kind of man he is.
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1. He's jealous
You broke up and he assumed you would be really bad afterwards. In reality, however, you are already at the end of the process of dealing with the separation phase and are now investing more time in yourself, looking better than ever before and appearing even happier - other men notice that too. You start dating again and he can't handle that. Suddenly he notices what has gotten through his fingers. So it's not uncommon for your ex to come back to you out of jealousy.
2. He misses being in a relationship
Suddenly it's over and he feels lonely. Nobody takes his worries seriously, nobody cares for him when he's sick, and he has nobody to snuggle up to him on the sofa in the evening. In short: He misses being in a relationship. You showed him how nice togetherness can be - even if you might not be the right woman for him. Out of an emotional chaos, however, he may not necessarily recognize this and returns to you. How do you know he misses you? He'll call you or text you out of nowhere. You can clearly hear his despair through the text or his voice.
3. The sex was good
The chemistry between you may not always have been right, but things went well in bed - and you don't forget that even after the breakup. If he can't find another partner who pleases him sexually as you did, he may well turn the corner - even if he's already in a new relationship or found his distraction in another woman Has. In this case you shouldn't let yourself be fooled, because he certainly has no feelings for you, he just wants one thing.
4. He wants to be able to control you
It's almost scary how many men like the idea of having a relationship back-up plan in case they can't find a better one. They would like you to stay single until they are of good use to you again - as hard as it sounds. If he breaks up with you in order to have a free ticket for a short time, only to come back to you afterwards, and then you take it back, he has a feeling of control and gets confirmation - but it doesn't have to be real love.
5. He feels guilty
Yes, there are men with a soft core too. They're not breaking your heart on purpose, but because they haven't seen any other way out. But afterward, they'll also be haunted by the pain of separation and excruciating guilt, and they'd love to re-enter your world to make sure you're fine without them. Sometimes, however, this step is pretty much the worst you can take - you can never get rid of it and you will always feel like you need it to be happy. Unfortunately, this will only prolong your lovesickness. 😔
6. He needs an ego boost
Some men need the challenge: If he notices that you are over him, you suddenly seem unreachable to him, and that spurs him on to win you back - also to show himself that he is still attractive and charming enough. But honestly, girls, we don't have to help a man who has caused us so much pain feel better. Such behaviors are just childish, so it's best to just ignore selfish pick-up attempts like this!
7. He regrets the breakup
Girls, relationships don't always have to be complicated. It really does exist, great love, true feelings that cannot simply be erased. Maybe he broke up with you because an argument combined with anger led him to make this impulsive decision or because he was too concerned about your future. Perhaps he thought he had to take a different route. But then the shock and despair catches up with him and he realizes that he belongs to you. This phase is also part of it. If he comes back realizing he made a mistake and has a sincere explanation for you, it's more than okay to give him a second chance. Sometimes you just have to spend a while without each other and go through heartbreak and grief over the loss of someone important to find out that life is much better together. 💕
What can you do if the ex wants to get back to you
If your ex gets in touch again, seeks contact with you and even makes hints that he wants to give your love a second chance, then you should firstly listen to your heart and ask yourself, whether you still have feelings for this person and can imagine a relationship with them. On the other hand, you should also find out what reasons made your former partner want to return to you. Long conversations in which you reflect on your relationship and speak openly and honestly about your problems can shed light on this. Important, if you want to try again together: Don't start where you left off, because it didn't work out that way. Rather get to know and love each other anew. Then it can work the second time.
Men and women deal with a separation so differently
You have probably also noticed that after the breakup we women tick differently than men. While we go through the pain to the fullest and torment each other with love films, long conversations with our best friend, ice cream and crying nights, the men seem to itch a little at first and there is no trace of lovesickness. Immediately afterwards they are on their way to the next club and distract themselves with a one-night stand. Of course, this does not apply to all men, but unfortunately to the majority. Our method is better. This was also confirmed by an American study, which says that women suffer much more emotionally from the pain of separation, but have a better and faster processing process. So if you talk to someone you know about it after the break-up and take enough time to accept the pain in the form of tears and sadness, you will deal better with the phase of life.
Men do not process the pain, but rather suppress it and instead prefer to distract themselves with sport, partying, affairs or work. They often go through five typical separation phases: denial, emotional chaos, reorientation and a new life plan.Whereby they suffer from tantrums, repressions and disorientation in phases one to three. Most of the time, they also look for a new wife directly because they don't like to be alone. In this way they cover up their feelings and postpone the shock and the loss until later. The pain that we feel right at the beginning only occurs with them in the last phase, when we are perhaps long past them. So, in general, men mourn longer than women.
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