What are some tricks for remembering people

Lasting impression: Simply be remembered

Everything starts with the first good impression. Sometimes you also need a second look. But then the judgment of the people is usually clear: He or she is so and so ... Whether you keep us in mind (positively) is more of one A question of making a lasting impression. Granted, some people leave a void that completely replaces them. But not others, we will remember them pleasantly and for a long time. But how does it work - especially if the contact was only brief? Tips on how to get a leave a lasting impression and stay positive in the memory ...

Lasting impression: Why are some people forgotten again?

Contact is made quickly. Suppose you start a conversation with a listener after a lecture, do some small talk and exchange opinions or experiences. A interesting conversation - but nothing more.

Such fleeting contacts occur everywhere, but are just as quickly forgotten again. Often from both interlocutors. Whether or not you leave a lasting impression depends primarily on three factors from:

  1. The amount of contacts

    The more contacts we had in a short period of time, the more difficult it becomes to remember the individual. The contours are becoming increasingly blurred. The individual is drowned in the crowd. This is a classic job interview challenge where HR managers get to know many applicants within a few days. But also at trade fairs and congresses.

  2. The duration of the contacts

    Some also speak of the so-called Airtime - So how long have you talked and occupied with your counterpart? Sure, the more time you spend together, the easier it is for you to remember the person and vice versa. Spending time together says little about a lasting impression. This also requires the third factor ...

  3. The intensity of the contacts

    A chat about the weather or the mutual excitement about the delayed train - these contacts can drag on. Maybe also because you have nothing better to do at the moment. But as soon as you part, they are erased from memory in the same moment. They just weren't relevant and intense enough. For a lasting impression, this point is the most important: The intensity of the discussion - such as in a discussion or negotiation. This greatly increases the chance of remaining in the memory of the person you are talking to for a long time to come.

Make a lasting impression: How you will be remembered

Of course, it is not always possible to consider the three factors mentioned influence in your favor. In an interview, for example, you only have limited control over the number and length of contact.

That said, there are a few tips and tricks on how you can use one anyway Leave a lasting impression on your counterpart. On the one hand, it is helpful charisma - the ability to create an almost magical aura and thus cast a spell over others. That can be learned to a large extent.

In addition, the following will help Attitudes and behaviorsto leave a lasting, positive impression:

  • Find common ground.

    One of the easiest ways to make a lasting impression is through common ground. We automatically feel drawn to like-minded fellow human beings, develop sympathy more quickly and sense a common wavelength. This connection can arise through a common employer, the common passion for a sport or a hobby. The effect is: that our brain stores the similarities with the associated positive memories and emotions - and we remember them for a particularly long time.

  • Stay interesting.

    This is of course easier to write than to implement. But one thing is certain: boring answers or comments will hardly stick in the memory of a conversation partner - and certainly not a positive one. So monosyllabic is a surefire way to be forgotten. Instead, try some humor and moody anecdotes from your life. In short: tell little stories. This storytelling not only arouses more interest, but also sticks in the mind.

  • Be specific.

    General descriptions are almost always quickly forgotten. It's the details that get stuck. So when you talk about your job, for example, you shouldn't just say: "I work in IT." Instead, report on what you achieve with your work and what is so fascinating or far-reaching about it. Such information arouses additional interest and is stored in the memory for a long time.

  • Ask a lot of questions.

    A multitude of questions not only underscores your interest in the topics addressed, but also in your counterpart. Most people like to talk about themselves and their own opinions. With your questions you offer a platform for this and flatter the other ego. It is important, however, that the questions are meaningful - open questions, systemic questions. Also, listen actively and ask questions to show what you understand.

  • Smile in conversation.

    Smiling people immediately seem more personable and also leave a lasting impression on top of that. For example, a study by Arnaud D’Argembeau shows: Those who smile are better remembered. Use this simple trick the next time you talk - and just smile a little more often. In the end, that even lifts your own mood.

  • Prove your own style.

    Having your own style can also help to stand out from the crowd and be remembered. Sometimes a particularly eye-catching accessory such as a pocket square, eye-catching glasses or wristwatch is enough. Such style elements must, however, always match the personality. If you feel uncomfortable with this, it will be noticed and expose the whole thing as a deliberate masquerade. That ends rather embarrassing. So find your own style - or rather use other tips in this list.

  • Maintain an open mind.

    Fixed opinions, obstinacy and self-righteousness are not conversation killers - in most cases they also lead to the fact that your conversation partner is reluctant to remember you - if at all. If, on the other hand, you remain open, open-minded and curious, a lively discussion can arise that can possibly be continued at another point in time. This gives you another good reason to be remembered.

  • Are you planning a sequel.

    Speaking of which, maybe one of the reasons that others don't remember you is that you don't give the other people a reason to remember you. You can change that, for example, by planning a next meeting or reunion at the end of the conversation. This way, the contact can be deepened in the meantime - and you can be sure that you will not be forgotten so quickly.

Of course there is for that no guarantee, sometimes the chemistry is just not right and the appropriate basis is missing. So don't let setbacks discourage you. Keep your goal in mind and just practice with it for a bit.

Lasting impression through intelligence?

Intelligence is difficult to judge at first glance. We can only look at them to a limited extent. Even so, we try regularly inferring intelligence from appearance. The result: the more intelligent someone appears, the longer we remember them and the greater the impression they make.

As superficial as it may sound, it can actually be done influence. In your own favor and for example like this:

  1. Pay attention to the way you speak.

    It doesn't just matter What They say but also how You say something. If you speak slowly and with emphasis, it immediately seems more intelligent. Put enthusiasm and conviction in your voice - and show that you are convinced of what you are saying. The other person will be convinced that you are an expert and know what you are talking about. Of course, you should also make sure that you speak grammatically correct and in Standard German - dialects often seem less intelligent.

  2. Include quotations.

    Smart people are well-read. Quotes, aphorisms and bon mots placed in the right places in the conversation make you appear clever and eloquent. And they lead you to think that you have an intellect similar to that of the person quoting the quote. Behind it is the so-called Method of borrowed genius. But you shouldn't overdo it with this: Otherwise this perception will tip over and you will be mistaken for a stupid chatterbox.

  3. Make eye contact with your counterpart.

    Eye contact increases your demeanor enormously. You not only appear more confident, but also more trustworthy. Looking each other in the eye shows that he or she does not have to hide and has nothing to hide. On top of that, he shows personal interest and open-mindedness.

  4. Choose your clothes wisely.

    Those who are in clothes that do not match their personality tend to appear disguised, tense, artificial. Outsiders usually immediately perceive such a masquerade as such and unpleasant. In fact, the choice of clothes even affects our own psyche. Formal wear, according to a study by California State University in Northridge, immediately makes people feel more powerful and meaningful. "When we put on formal clothing, it changes the way we think and see the world," says Abraham Rutchick, one of the study authors.

  5. Question the status quo.

    Intelligent people are skeptics and lateral thinkers. You don't say anything Yes and Amen, but also think about the downside of an idea or put the tried and tested to the test. This approach is not always convenient for others - but (used in doses) is highly stimulating and intelligent.

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August 14, 2019Author: Jochen Mai

Jochen Mai is the founder and editor-in-chief of the career bible. The author of several books lectures at the TH Köln and is a sought-after keynote speaker, coach and consultant.

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