What do you really expect from Tinder
4 men speak plain language:
“We're really looking for that
on Tinder! "
Let's jump right into the topic with a direct question: What is the # 1 reason you use Tinder? And be honest guys!
Rokas: I just moved from Bocholt to Berlin and don't know that many people here yet. That's why I've been using Tinder for about three months to comfortably set up my social circle. Compared to other apps and services, Tinder's diversity of users is very appealing. There is something of every type.
Till: Exactly. You get to know people that you would otherwise never have considered. In addition, the app is very clear and easy to use. And so many singles use them. Accordingly, it has many users - which is of course an advantage if you are looking for the right lid for the pot.
Adrián:I'm in my mid 30s ...
Adrián:Well, once you've let off steam and your circle of friends has become more sedate, it is no longer so easy to meet potential partners out there. In addition, as a management consultant, I spend a lot of time in the office. Will I run into the right one? Unfortunately this has not happened so far. Tinder is therefore helpful because you meet many women who are also looking for partners, friends and whatever else there is.
Sebastian: What else is there ... I would put myself in this category. Before Tinder, I relied on lucky coincidences. I love the fast and uncomplicated thing about the app. I want to meet exciting women and have fun. I communicate that honestly from the start and it can mean anything: drinks, inspiring conversations, doing sports together, sex.
All right, that brings us to the question of what exactly you expect from Tinder or what you are looking for there.
Adrián: My hope is definitely to find “the one”. I definitely don't want to collect countless matches and acquaintances - but of course, if a meeting results in an intellectually enriching friendship, for example, I don't mind.
Till: I just let things go and I'm open to a lot. That means that I am also not averse to a relationship. What happens happens.
So is the nonsense myth that men on Tinder shy away from relationships?
Adrián: Total bullshit.
Rokas: I don't like such generalized statements. It is online like in real life: you meet all sorts of men and women. Many are looking for a steady relationship, many are not. As I said, I'm more interested in acquaintances with whom I can do exciting things. I am currently looking for a nice salsa dance partner through Tinder, for example.
How often, where and when do you use the app?
Till: Usually every day. I take a look at the breakfast table over coffee in the morning and swipe a little on the couch in the evening. And of course every now and then at work.
Sebastian: Varies, on average once or twice a week, mostly when I'm on the road. In the S-Bahn, in the waiting room, in line at the supermarket.
Do you actually use Tinder Gold?
Adrián: No - seeing in advance who likes me will spoil the surprise! And even take a little romance out of it ... or what do you think?
Sebastian: I do not find. I've been using the feature for about two months. Increased my self-esteem seeing how many likes I get.
What do you pay attention to when you distribute likes? When do you swipe right?
Sebastian:(As if shot from a pistol.) There is one type of woman. So southern. Salma Hayek-esque. Long dark hair, doe eyes. Immediately right.
Adrián: There are many factors: I pay attention to the background of the photo - what can be seen there, what does the woman want to express, consciously or unconsciously? And if there is text in the profile, I try to deduce a little about the personality of the author and her intentions. I think it's great when I can read authenticity, intelligence and a sense of style from all these factors.
Hand on heart: What turns you off, i.e. from which point do you swipe left?
Rokas:To follow prompts on Instagram to get followers, to offensive poses like “take me, baby”, national flags.
Sebastian: No generic jumping pictures, no calendar wisdom and please: no emoji parades!
Till: Oh yes, I think emoji parades are really bad too. Also: artificial duck-face-I'm-so-sexy-selfies in a row. And if there is nothing in your profile ... on the left!
Your three top tips to make online dating as pleasant as possible for all of us?
Till: Tip 1: Describe yourself. Many ladies are very taciturn in their Tinder profiles. Give us more target to break the ice. Tip 2: Meaningful portraits. A beautiful back can of course delight, but that's it. Tip 3: Specify what you are looking for.
You have already mentioned the profile pictures several times ... how should they look best?
Sebastian: Ideally, the photos give a reasonably honest picture of the person ... what do five photos from New York say if the lady has only been there once in a lifetime? I always ask myself: once stood on the Brooklyn Bridge - is that you? Is that what makes you Really?
Till: Yes i agree with that. Ladies, show yourself better in your everyday life, e.g. with one of your hobbies. And please: do without too many filters! The truth will come to light at some point.
Is it ok for you if your match writes first? Or do you want to be the one?
Adrián: That's perfectly ok. Nowadays we don't have to discuss which gender is responsible for which steps. Whoever feels like writing should write.
Do you get annoyed when she writes too much? Or rather too little?
Rokas: Too much doesn't tend to annoy me as much as too little does. Sure, her writing behavior shouldn't seem obsessive, but I'd rather read a lot from her than have the feeling that I have to pull everything out of her nose.
Till: Often too little is written. Texting is there to make it easy to find out whether you are surfing a wave.
Sebastian: I see it differently: I went on dates after she and I only exchanged a few messages - if you have the feeling that the communication fits, it is better to meet quickly to compare it with reality. Otherwise you run the risk of building castles in the air and, if in doubt, wasting time ...
Ok, and when it comes to your first date: what are must-have and no-gos for you?
Rokas:To be honest, i.e. not to fool yourself or the other person. Be kind, polite, and respectful. Communicate clearly and not deliberately approach the matter in a mysterious or tactical manner.
Adrián: I am of the opinion that the first meeting is not a date at all, but a meeting - that takes the pressure off the situation, so that you don't pay close attention to any must-haves.
Finally, an anecdote, please! Which extraordinary - in whatever form - Tinder date do you spontaneously remember?
Adrián: During the text it turned out that my match, like me, is interested in astrophysics. So we went to the planetarium. Sounds like a special idea, but you sit there leaning back in a chair in a dark room for over an hour and you don't really have anything to do with each other. Learning: better go somewhere where you can interact and talk with each other.
Till: But too much action can backfire. We had agreed to meet in a bouldering hall to get to know each other. After 20 minutes I fell from the climbing wall and broke my elbow so that I had to undergo emergency surgery. She visited me later in the hospital and it could all have been romantic - but unfortunately she wasn't my type at all.
Sebastian: Too bad ... violent story, have my sympathy! I remember a story two years ago; I met a Bolivian woman through Tinder when we were both alone in Lisbon. We didn't have sex, but there was an immediate special bond between us that continues to this day. She was already visiting me in Berlin, I planned a trip to Santa Cruz.
Rokas: Looks familiar. Even if the chemistry between me and a match is not right, but otherwise we get on really well, we often stay in contact afterwards. It doesn't always have to be really big love, in the end you just spend a nice evening together.
Thank you guys for this interview, for your time and openness! And now have fun swiping on ...
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